Second Draft Final Test EFL Writing 2 Class
Rumah Betang
Betang is a long house which is home to the indigenous Dayak (Ngaju) in Central Kalimantan, which are located in different parts of Borneo, mainly in upstream areas which used to be a residential center Dayak. Parts of buildings for residential Dayak, actually Betang is the heart of the social fabric of life of the Dayaks. Betang culture is a reflection of the unity in the daily life of the Dayaks. Inside the house each individual life in households and communities are systematically arranged by mutual agreement as outlined in the main culture. The law was standing, there is a value of togetherness (communalism) among the citizens who inhabit it, regardless of differences betang's. The difference characteristics are; stage shape, elongated. At certain Dayak tribe, long home-making should be in line with the upstream sunrise and next downstream towards sunset, as a symbol of the working-hard to survive from the sun to grow and come home in the sun extinguished. Rumah Betang is a custom home in Central Kalimantan that unique and more than one hundred people live in this home.
Upstream : Moving or situated in the opposite direction from that in which a stream or river flows nearer to the source.
Residential : Designed for people to live in.
Fabric : The basic structure of a society, culture, activity, etc.
Households : A house and its occupants regarded as a unit.
Citizens : A legally recognized subject or national of a state or commonwealth, either native or naturalized.
Regardless : Despite the prevailing circumstances.
Extinguished : Cause (a fire or light) to cease to burn or shine.
Rumah Betang
1. About topic sentence, supporting sentence and concluding sentence is clear but don't forget underline your topic sentence and controlling idea and concluding sentence for different between other sentence.
BalasHapus2. About supporting sentence is sufficiently with topic sentence.
3. About concluding sentence is matching with all of paragraph.
4. Don't forget with transitional signals in your paragraph, ex: In brief, In concluding etc..
Komentar ini telah dihapus oleh pengarang.
BalasHapus1. You are not used line to show the reader which your topic and concluding .
BalasHapus2. I think your topic sentence it’s in the first sentence, but it’s so long . you can make the sentences becomes topic sentences and controling idea.
3. You can use transitional signals for your concluding sentence, like : in brief, etc.
This is my own version
1. You can use the topic sentences like “Betang is a typical long house of Dayak in Central Kalimantan.”
2. For controling idea you can make like
• “ First, the location not only in central kalimantan but also in some parts of Kalimantan.” and you can add the Minor “for example in upstream areas which used to be a residential center Dayak.”
• “Second, ......”
• “Third, .....’
• Etc..... you can make controling idea like the first. I can’t continue because i don’t understand about the purpose of your paragraph. Your paragraph is strange,It’s very difficult to understand. Can you change using your own word ?.
3. You can used simple concluding like “ In brief Rumah Betang is a uniqe custom home in Central Kalimantan.”
• “and more than one hundred people live in this home.” you can used this sentence for controling idea.
maybe just it and I apologize if I'm wrong of the comments. because I'm just an ordinary person whose not perfect. Happy writing and good luck .
I just give a few examples , and i hope you can develop from the example which I given.
1.Parts of paragraph
BalasHapus-The paragraph was covering the Topic Sentence, but still not at the Supporting Sentence, and was amazing at the concluding sentence.
-About your Topic Sentence, could you make it shortly and clearly like: “Rumah Betang is a traditional house which located in Kalimantan”.
-Your topic was mentioning the topic of the paragraph.
-That’s good specific enough for the controlling idea of the paragraph.
2.Supporting Sentence
-That was supporting the topic of your paragraph, but I have some suggestion for you to make the Supporting sentence like:
a.The meaning of the structure of the house
b.The social purpose
-I will give you some Supporting details for the Supporting sentence above:
a.The meaning of the structure of the house
1)The stage shape
2)The elongated shape
b.The social purpose
1)To show the socialization of Dayaks
2)To reflect the unity of the daily life of Dayaks
3.Concluding sentence
That was good Concluding Sentence, but I have a suggestion for you to make it short and strong. For example: “No matter the house is a traditional, it make a unique characteristic that consist in”
4.Paragraph Cohernences
That was great paragraph, but don’t forget to add the transitional signal like my example above “No matter”.
1. there's topic sentences in your paragraph , in the first sentences .
BalasHapus2. probably you can underline where is the topic sentences , supporting swentences and concluding .
3. I think your topic is " Betang is a long house which is home to the indigenous Dayak (Ngaju) in Central Kalimantan "
But you can change your topic become “ Betang is a long house of dayak ( ngaju ) in Central borneo “
4. your topic is good and the controlling idea spesific to your topic .
5. your supporting sentences was good , it’s connected of each other , but i can suggest you some , like :
1. sizes of building
Example : betang house high is ..... something like that i guess . and etc .
2. the historical
Example : the betang house was build because ..... you are going to mention what’s going on in the past that people build the beatng house .
6. your concluding still confusing is it the concluding sentences ? i got one for yours .
“ the betang house being one of the best custom that have to visit if you are going to trip to Central Borneo . “